Monday, October 10, 2011

Now what?

I made a life change. I consciously, deliberately, thoughtfully, etc made a life change. It's very scarry. I am taking a huge leap of _________. Faith just doesn't seem to be the right word.

I finally quit my job. After four years of what could be classified as verbal and sexual harassment, not to mention the racial slurs, belittlement, unstable personality, and all around unethical behavior, I put in my resignation.

My boss was shocked; I don't know why he would be. Normal people don't treat other people they want to keep around in a manner that degrades them.

No matter. The emotions that I am feeling are varied. I am worried. Worried that I may have put my family in a poor financial situation. Worried that I made the wrong decision. I am sad. Sad that there are people in the world like him. I am regretful. I regret that I didn't stick up for what I believe is right more often. I regret that I would nod when he would spout off his stupid rants because that was the fastest way to shut him up.

I am supposed to feel relief. Maybe that will happen soon.

Overall, I feel temporarily lost. Whereas before I thought I was sinking on the Titanic, no hope but to go down into they abyss, now I feel like I'm floating on a life raft. Quite fortuitous, but just waiting for something to happen..........don't quite know what to do, never been in this situation before. Just waiting. Going with the flow.