The Korean Minister

So, the nightmares have subsided for the time being. Now it seems that the days are scarier than the nights. Oh well, at least I'm getting some sleep....That is until the Korean Minister wakes me up.

On the Korean Minister:

So the other day. I'm sleeping peacefully. Thankfully. Then, I am abruptly brought into the land of the living by the muffled voice of a man. Ugh. I hate living in an apartment but, who the heck is it? Despite the sheer volume, I'm unable to make out the voice. It's only one voice. There is no dialogue. The cadence is not English. So, I guess it is coming from my Korean neighbor underneath me. This was at 5 in the morning. It was only for about an hour. Unfortunately, this has continued twice a day, regularly. Interjecting loudly around 6 am then again around 10 pm. Not to mention the two times last night, one at 2 in the morning and again at 5 in the morning.

So if you know me well, you know this is a major issue. But, I'm also very respectful of the elderly. She's a nice lady in her 80's, maybe older. Her husband is sick. I think he was in assisted living or the hospital for awhile. Now he's back.

So, how could I begrudge him his minister time. I wish they would choose to play this at other times. But, then.....

I left my apartment the other day. I looked and there they were. Wife and husband. Wife caring for husband. Husband unable. She was rubbing some lotion on his slightly fuzzy head. I made up my mind that I had to get over this.

I can't help the frustration I feel about the noise. Especially at 2 in the morning. I think about what I saw. What did I see? Love? Devotion? Vows?

I heard the Korean Minister. I saw the vows.

Another Late Night

When I was a child, I only remember ONE of my nightmares. In my dream, I awoke in my bed and there was a huge boa constrictor type snake next to me. I was paralyzed with fear and it bit me in the thumb.

-----

So tonight I'm up with worry (again). Nightmares, worry, and frustration seem to frequent my evenings (and days for that matter). Lately, I have been having nightmares about snakes. In the first nightmare, a snake fell from the ceiling. It fell right in front of my body, I felt it as it fell. In fact, I woke up gasping/screaming. In the second nightmare there was one snake and I was getting used to it. I wasn't happy about it being there but, I wasn't as panicky and as scared with it being there. Then all of a sudden, snakes started coming out of everywhere. Little snakes, medium sized snakes. There were hundreds.

I read an article online that said snakes can symbolize worry and unresolved issues. Maybe in the first dream I had one issue and it was being put before me to resolve. Whether I liked it or not, it was being forced in the forefront for me to tackle. Maybe I haven't quite conquered this task, therefore my second dream meant my issues are going to multiply.

Great.

What if it's a matter of I don't know how to do this task, or I don't want to do this task, or I can't do this task? Am I going to have nightmares about snakes forever? How do I stop worrying? Should I take the Bob Newhart advice and just "STOP IT!"? I wish I could! That's easier said that done.

One of my favorite dreams when I was a child was of flying. Maybe I could have that dream tonight. Um.....I wouldn't mind flying with John Legend "So High". :)

P.s. After writing this, I attempted to find a picture of a snake to post. Not the brightest idea. The images were quite scary. Going to go with a picture of John Legend instead.

If I'm stupid, what does that make you?

Ok so you get two posts today. Aren't you lucky?

The previous post was heavily edited, this one cannot be, so there will be offensive language. It is part of the story not gratuitous.

So this morning, "someone" asks me if a certain person called. I had seen "someone" at four and gave him the messages of the people who had called. So I assume that he means from four to five did this person call. I said I don't believe so but, if he called earlier in the day, I directed him to your cell. (Something to that effect). No more than an hour later, "someone" is on the phone with the caller he had asked about. I specifically hear the conversation (to a point--which will be integral). Not that I'm ease dropping, it's just that the area that we are in is small and some people speak loud. They are talking about Dr. and allergies and the sun. Then there comes a point in the conversation where it is said, "Did you call yesterday?" "She said you didn't" now the volume gets much lower but I still overhear "She's fucking stupid".

---------I'm going to put an aside here because this totally retribution for calling someone a stupid heifer. I just realized this. LOL-------------------------

Anyways, if you know me well enough to know the stupid heifer incident, you know that I am not much of one for confrontation. It would be totally in character for me to simply pretend that I didn't hear it.

You would be proud though. I don't know where this courage came from but, as soon as he got off the phone and walked past me, I asked "Did you just call me fucking stupid to your client?" He look surprised. Of course there was an explanation that it was not me that he was talking about and that he was talking about how doctors are stupid because they don't look at medical history before filling what could be a prescription that could react negatively with standing prescriptions or medical conditions.

Did he-didn't he? I will never know. So we'll take it at face value. I heard something. I defended myself. Go me!

I need a beer.

Talk Amongst Yourselves?

Today I clicked on an article on CNN.com about Yom Kippur. So I read about three sentences when this (somewhat) unrelated picture, in a ancillary side bar, caught my eye. At first glance, I thought it was showing an anti-Semitic act (I thought the marquee belonged a synagogue) but, then I realized no. Then, I thought it was CNN's disappointingly moronic attempt at placement irony(that this picture is being advertised on an article about a Jewish holiday). I guess because I clicked on an article about religion, this picture came up. Whatever. After that, I started to think about what the simple sign said and what it meant.

The sign belonged to a Christian Church.

He Lives!
He Reigns!
End of discussion.

Three statements. Two descriptive, one command.

The first thing I wondered was, "Where was the discussion?" If you are ending a discussion there has to be a beginning. For a discussion to take place there should be two people speaking. There was no dialogue. One person speaking is not a discussion. Giving me two statements and then concluding without the opportunity to speak is not a discussion.

So you may believe "He Lives", you may believe "He Reigns" but, also believe even Shakespeare had detractors who would not applaud his monologues.

--------Ok so you might not like this but, did it make you think? Leave a comment. Start a DISCUSSION :)

My life as a PSA

My boss came in my office and plucked out one of his nose hairs. This is the hell. My life should be a public service campaign. I have enough public service announcements to last the entire summer.



Don't be like me. Get a college degree. Don't be condemned to work in hell.

Racism hurts. Fight back. Kick racial slurs to the curb.

Negativity is positively self destructive.

Each of us have our own place on the planet. There's no room for misanthropy.

Curiosity killed the cat. Stop the feline murder. Mind your own business.

Hand sanitizer is $1.50. A staph infection is an office co-pay and prescription bills. Keep clean.

Grown ass men should wipe their own grown ass. Dependency is only acceptable in infancy and infirmary.

Opinions and thoughts should be developed like a fine wine, not regurgitated like cheap tequila.



Sigh. Only one and a half years left of my time share in hell.

Nish Nouveau---Oh No!

The other day, while I was waiting for my Holocaust and Representation class to start, a young man struck up casual conversation. It must be noted that I am quite cautious or even averted to people who, upon first encounter, I quickly deduce to be a total weirdo. It must be noted that I am also a believer in giving people the benefit of the doubt. Keeping with this policy of politeness, I engage and ask if he’s a History major. He answers yes. Further developing this congenial pre-class etiquette, I ask what he plans to do with his degree. He answers that he’d like to teach history and coach basketball, football and possibly golf. He says he loves kids and can’t explain it but, he knows he has to be around kids. He HAS to be around kids. Right away my “spidey” senses start tingling. There was a bit too much eagerness and more than a hint of perv in his voice.

So at a lull in the conversation, I remove myself to the classroom. I find a seat and wait. Yes, we all know what’s coming. He sits right next to me. Great. One of the benefits of being a nerd is that I actually listen to my professors. Therefore, without great effort I can focus intently on my professor when my peripheral vision and auditory senses are being infiltrated by some wise crackin’ punk. So this guy is bitching about the class and the work load but, I stay committed to my inner nerd. I feign total engrossment in the matter at hand. The subject matter for the moment was films about the Holocaust. The professor goes into an explanation about various films and whether or not the director lent their art to better the understanding or representation of the Holocaust. She mentions the film “Sophie’s Choice”, of which she argues that that representation of Sophie’s choice was different than that of a Jewish mother in the same situation. Next, she mentions the film “The Reader”. She explains that, to her, the film’s portrayal of pedophilia overshadowed its representation of the Holocaust.

It would be beyond boastful to think that I have some sort of encompassing knowledge about human behavior. Nor would I egregiously intimate that in some way I willed the following actions to happen. But, why, as soon as my professor said the word pedophilia, did I know what was going to happen next? I knew it. Why was it that the only notes this boy took was the name of that pedophiliac movie? Now I know that there is some jumping to conclusions on my behalf but, come on. As a mom, as a female, as a non deviant, my creep meter went off like fireworks on the fourth of July.

There have been other times when I’ve just KNOWN the series of events that were about to occur. Usually it is the not-so-good premonitions. Those, I promise, will be in a future musing. What explains this? It’s not stereo typing. It’s not psychic ability. It’s not vast psychological analysis. Maybe I’m tapping into a great well of experiences from past lives. Like a kind of de-ja-vue. I’m not a believer in past lives but, I’m not a non believer in them either. Intuition? Some sick sort of luck? Is it just my jaded cynicism hop scotching into fruition?

Whatever it is, let’s all think happy thoughts that this guy isn’t the next Mr. Nish. Who’s that? Oh well he was my chemistry teacher that got thrown in jail for “inappropriate behavior” with a young girl. Sigh, another musing for another day.

p.s. Five hour energy at 7 o’clock is a means to an all night study or blog session.

Fair Weather Fan

So, football season is upon us. Exhibition games or "pre-season fixes" have started to tide us over until September 9th, NFL season opener.

Today's musing is about definition of character. Not some overwhelmingly grand idea of character but, in simple terms, are we Team A or are we Team B? You may know that I am a Seahawks fan. I know, I know. I am not from Seattle, never even been there. Not from the Pacific Northwest either. So you may wonder how I became a Seahawks fan (why would I be of fan of that hot mess?). Back many ten years ago, I fell in love with a Seahawks fan, a die hard Seahawks fan. So it was easy to assimilate my non-defined football persona into a Sea-Fence chanting, Holmgren loving, blue and green wearing Seahawker. Seven seasons I was rooting my heart out every Sunday! The Seahawks even went to the Superbowl! Many of my close friends also remember this, as I made many drunk calls after the Seahawks won the NFC.

After the Superbowl, life for the Seahawks wasn't so great. I wouldn't characterize it as a fall from grace. It was more like a shove off a cliff and a faceplant in a dry creek bed. Such is life...in fact, the NFL mirrored my life in that, following the grand year of 2005, my life began it's leap face first into the jagged rocks of the broken hearted.

What became evident, after the break up, was that even though I was no longer in the presence of what originated my character definition....I was still shaped by that mold. Those seven years are a part of who I am. For better or for worse, I am a Seahawk fan. ---We won't go into the other crap that I am because of those seven years. That's a musing for another day---

Now I have a Packer fan in my life. I really struggle with this. Of all things -- A PACKER FAN???? He isn't a hard core football fan. Truth be told, I am the one that got him into the habit of watching football. I think he feels that my allegiance to the Seahawks is some latent loyalty to my ex lover. Just as much as I can understand this thought, I CANNOT be a Packer fan. So we've decided that he'll root for the Packers, I'll root for the Seahawks and together we'll root for anyone playing the Cowboys. If the Seahawks don't make the playoffs (which is more of a given than the exception lately), I will root for the Packers in the post season.

I think that my Packers fan thinks that if I assimilated for my ex, why wouldn't I assimilate for him. I think the difference is that I was Switzerland before being a Seahawks fan. No real allegiance to any team. Those seven years defined me. If I were to give that up, I'd be the biggest poser ever. If I were to cheer for his team, the team that so many times crushed my heart, I'd be such a football hypocrite. I couldn't tolerate myself as a football fan.

Therefore, I'll shout SEA-FENCE at the top of my lungs. I'll wear my cute Seahawks apparel. I will speak of a pilgrimage to Qwest field. I'll taunt other teams for the first 5 minutes of a game and then console my team at the end of an embarrassing loss. I will say "TJ Housh ya mamma!".

In staying true to my team, I'll try to stay true to me.